Why Are We Like This?” Revisited.

Why Are We Like This?” Revisited.


People kept asking me the following question during my travels in Anatolia: “Why are we like this?”. When I was younger, I used to take this question quite seriously and try to address it with a sensible answer. Today, I am trying to explain people that “One cannot choose its place of birth. Where you are born seals your destiny forever”.


Now imagine a stereotypical businessman; not woman, because women tend to be more incisive and more prudent; who thinks he is entitled to do anything because he built his company with his own blood, sweat, and tears. He uses the company money to pay for his family’s and his own spending, from gas to food. But, when it comes to paying his employees, he does not act as comfortably as he spends the company money. He delays paying the salaries for as long as he likes. He even walks around the office with a sour face so that no one will ask him anything about it.


Such people have interesting habits, like talking about business all the time and coming home late from both casual and business dinners they go to with their friends. When their family asks them what they have been doing, they don’t share much, just keep telling them how hard they work day in and day out. They tend to leave very early in the morning because they don’t like their life at home, and dealing with the house chores. Because they are mighty businessman! They don’t like to be asked doing small tasks. This is a major excuse of people running from social duties.

So, our businessman drives his luxury car to work, and he buys his wife a slightly above-average quality car, with the company money obviously, so that he can shut her up. Whenever his company gets into financial trouble, he immediately sells the car he bought for his wife, and gives her a middle-class one so that the staff doesn’t revolt. Because such people cannot manage to make money for their company, they never miss a government grant or loan opportunity, they often borrow from third parties, and they even find it easy do dishonest activities. They prefer a luxurious and restless life, rather than a comfortable and peaceful one. Luxury means good reputation for them.


They also tend to fight with others very often, because they are stressed all the time. In their eyes, they are honest while others are not. They never hesitate to act obsequiously towards important people, whom they don’t like at all, in order to gain advantage. So, the wife and kids of such people never know whom they should be friendly to and whom they should not be talking to.


When their family gets angry at him for taking back the rights and luxuries he had given to them in the first place, the businessman starts tyrannizing them, saying “If it weren’t for me, you would not have any of these things!”. Unfortunately, these people do not care about the emotional damage and moral erosion they cause to others. They take risky, sometimes unacceptable, decisions, even act outside of ethics and morality, to keep their business well and alive, hence to provide for their family, and because they are doing so, they see themselves entitled to do anything they want. Although losing everything overnight might upset them, they don’t mind it too much because they know they can win it back again by doing the same things they had done before.

Somehow, these are the type of people who complain the most about the economic situation. But they lead a luxurious and comfortable life thanks to those economic conditions they complain about so much. Because the more chaotic the environment is, the more money they make.


“Because That’s Who We Are.”


There is a considerable number of men who prefer making money fast over being a decent a businessperson with a set of ethical and moral standards. Some of them have billions of dollars, while others enjoy a rather modest profit. Their debt is greater than the profit they make, yet they lead luxurious lives compared to the most of the society. They often tend to be jealous, greedy, and threatening. Yet, they can be spotted easily by their sycophancy towards those who are more powerful than them.


Since they have not received the necessary education to achieve a certain level of knowledge, they tend to applaud the practices that encourage the lack of education, as well as those that interfere with and limit people’s social life, because they do not want their family does the things he does out there in social and business life. They don’t like to exercise, but for some reason they are fanatical supporters of some club, mostly football. The reason for that is the problem of belonging they have had since they were children. They reveal their true selves when they go to the stadium to see a football match. Verbal and physical violence, that is due to insomnia, stress, and lack of proper nutrition, manifests itself there. They think they will be tolerated when violence is done collectively.


Worst of all, these hundreds of thousands of men who aim to become richer rather than improve themselves, do not speak up against and even support those who oppose women’s empowerment, as they are not fans of female touch.

The type of men I have described so far can be found in every income level. The only difference among them is the type of clothes they can afford according to their income. In any restaurant you go to, you can easily notice these people, always trying to hang out with whoever has the power.


So, instead of wondering, “why are we like this?”, and feeling sorry for ourselves, we first need to start changing ourselves by making efforts to eliminate the bad practices and behaviours I mentioned above. Unfortunately, we may as well be unwittingly exhibiting the same behaviours under the influence of our social environment.


The reactions that people show towards what happens to them are shaped by their past experiences. So, it is necessary to be open and welcoming to both lifelong learning and new experiences in order to react to life events in a more civilized way. For this, we should not be content with our current social circles and expand it to different lengths, and we should not let the work we do define ourselves and our lives. Only then progress can be made.


Self-sufficient individuals do not dream of being rich, for them, everything evolves by itself. Loving yourself does not mean being arrogant, it means trying to change and improve yourself.